We know that swine flu is a very serious issue, but we all need some light relief in our lives, so here goes with possibly the greatest selection of swine flu jokes anywhere. These are not for the easily offended!
Swine Flu Jokes
What happens when someone gets Swine Flu and Avian Flu? They see pigs flying
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I woke up this morning and wasn't feeling well, so I phoned the Swine Flu helpline. 
What a waste of time, I couldn't understand a word, all I got was crackling
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I think I have swine flu... I've come out in rashers
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I think I have swine flu... maybe I should put on some oinkment
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My mate tells me he has got swine flu... I think he's just telling porkies though!
My daughter woke up this morning with her hair in pigtails. Should I be worried?
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I went to my travel agent who told me they are now doing half price holidays to Mexico. Now thats a deal not to be sneezed at
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My mate Hoski should get tested for swine flu - he hasn't been to Mexico, but he has been out with plenty of pigs in his time!
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Swineflu Jokes
I woke up this morning with swine flu symptoms; nausea, head-ache, sore eyes and sweating. But turns out it was only wine fever
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I got swine flu, so I called the emergency services - and asked for a hambulance
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This blonde woman calls her husband panicing. She says "I've run out of petrol, I'm so scared to fill-up because I might get swine flu because of where I am". Hubby says "Don't be daft love, swine flu comes from Mexico, not Texaco"!
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I never thought that pigs could fly, but now swine flu!
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Oinkment just won't work for Mexican Swine Flu. You are going to need Juan-tibiotics!
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If you get swine flu, just rub salt all over yourself – you'll soon be cured
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Of course swine flu is not a problem for pigs – they will all be cured one day !
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I won a competition - the prize was a holiday to Mexico... Thing is I can't go - I'm pig sick
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Funny Swine Flu Jokes
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There is a rumour that swine flu is caused by exposure to Gammon Rays
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So it appears Swine Flu has replaced the fears about bird flu. I guess bird flu just never took off...
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You've got to hand it to the Mexicans. Even Osama Bin Laden didn't scare this many Americans.
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Have you had the email about tinned ham giving you swine flu? Just ignore it, it's spam!
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News Flash .... this just in. The world's religious leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu pandemic is the start of the a-pork-alypse!
Any more? Just contact us with your swine flu joke and we will update this page - if we think it's squealy good :)
