Stupidest Jokes You Have Ever Seen About Swine Flu!

We know that swine flu is a very serious issue, but we all need some light relief in our lives, so here goes with possibly the greatest selection of stupidest swine flu jokes anywhere!

• What happens when someone gets Swine Flu and Avian Flu? They see pigs flying
• I woke up this morning and wasn't feeling well, so I phoned the Swine Flu helpline.
• What a waste of time, I couldn't understand a word, all I got was crackling
• I think I have swine flu... I've come out in rashers
  
• I think I have swine flu... maybe I should put on some oinkment
• My mate tells me he has got swine flu... I think he's just telling porkies though!
• My daughter woke up this morning with her hair in pigtails. Should I be worried?
• I went to my travel agent who told me they are now doing half price holidays to Mexico. Now thats a deal not to be sneezed at!
• My mate Hoski should get tested for swine flu - he hasn't been to Mexico, but he has been out with plenty of pigs in his time!
• I woke up this morning with swine flu symptoms; nausea, head-ache, sore eyes and sweating. But turns out it was only wine fever!
• I got swine flu, so I called the emergency services - and asked for a hambulance!
• This blonde woman calls her husband panicking. She says "I've run out of petrol, I'm so scared to fill-up because I might get swine flu because of where I am". Hubby says "Don't be daft love, swine flu comes from Mexico, not Texaco"!
• I won a competition - the prize was a holiday to Mexico... Thing is I can't go - I'm pig sick!
• I never thought that pigs could fly, but now swine flu!
• Oinkment just won't work for Mexican Swine Flu. You are going to need Juan-tibiotics!
• If you get swine flu, just rub salt all over yourself – you'll soon be cured!
• There is a rumour that swine flu is caused by exposure to Gammon Rays
• So it appears Swine Flu has replaced the fears about bird flu. I guess bird flu just never took off...
• You've got to hand it to the Mexicans. Even Osama Bin Laden didn't scare this many Americans.
• Have you had the email about tinned ham giving you swine flu? Just ignore it, it's spam!
• News Flash .... this just in. The world's religious leaders have issued a joint declaration that the Swine Flu pandemic is the start of the a-pork-alypse!

Any more? Just contact us with your swine flu joke and we will update this page - if we think it's squealy good :)